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Astro-logical Forecast for Thursday & Friday 12/8/2016: Jupiter Returns; Pet Rocks & Other Mind-Blowing Sensations

Alll-righty then!

By the time you read this, the Moon will have zoomed into me-me-me Aries, falling down stairs because it’s faster than walking. This happens at 5:16AM ET. It rushes about on its mission to lead, inspire and cut in front of you at the post office — without much interference. There’s a friendly connection with Venus at 7:02AM ET — a sweet way to start the day. The only resistance could come around 6:43PM ET, when the fiery Moon is challenged by some status-conscious wonk’s way of thinking,  represented by Mercury in Capricorn.

Sparks are more likely on Friday, as the Moon makes its weekly clash with power playing Pluto (at 8:52AM ET), followed by a meet up with disruptive Uranus at 4:24PM ET. Watch the headlines for whatever shocker they are hoping you won’t notice as you’re heading out to do some holiday shopping or join a holiday party on a Friday evening.

Speaking of shopping, astrology reports and/or consultations make totally awesome thoughtful gifts. Please indulge, as I love making up gift certificates for lucky recipients of your generosity.  My Really Useful 2017 Mercury Rx Survival Guide Bookmarks are fun stocking stuffers, and they will come in handy soon — Mercury turns retrograde on December 19th! Bookmarks are $3.88 for one and $5.99 for three — cross my palm with silver via my Cosmic Tip Jar and I’ll send them off to you pronto.

On a day with  the Moon in me-me-me Aries, I feel I must also shamelessly tell you how excited I am to have my first byline in The Mountain Astrologer. The article is called “The Horoscope Lives Forever,” meaning that in writing this forecast for seven years, I’ve observed that people make news when their horoscopes are hot — and it doesn’t seem to matter if that person is dead or alive. Astrology is amazing! Magazines make great gifts, too!

And now, the news.

Oh, the outrage. The president-elect was named Person of the Year by TIME magazine — but really, we should not be surprised. And there’s no reason to get mad at TIME now — that moment was over a year ago. This recognition and apparent reward is an apt reflection of the president-elect’s horoscope, which has Jupiter at 17 degrees in  Libra.  That’s where Jupiter is right now, too  –it’s  a once every 12 year happening. It’s called a Jupiter return.  Jupiter will hit 17 Libra twice more in 2017 — more expansion, for better or for worse.

What does this mean for you? Well, if  you have Jupiter halfway through Libra — or any other significant point or planet — you are likely to experience opportunities for expansion, too. The president-elect’s 5th House is Jupiter -ruled, suggesting that expansion will happen for him in matters of ego recognition — and perhaps through his children. The key here is expansion. Whether it’s “good” or “bad” depends on what’s being expanded. There is a thing called wretched excess.

On the forecast for November 19th,  I just added some news items reflecting Neptune turning direct, i.e., “the bubble bursting.” One of the bubbles bursting was a fake news item known as Pizzagate. You may be surprised to learn that the Comet Ping Pong pizzeria in Washington D.C. was not the headquarters for a child sex slavery ring run by Hillary Clinton, depending on where you get your “news.” Hillary Clinton has never run a child sex slavery ring, but she did spearhead an initiative – SCHIP — to expand health care for children in the United States.

But if you’re like Maddison Welch, the North Carolina man who shot up Comet Ping Pong with an assault rifle on Sunday, {determined to “save the (non-existent)children”},  you might have been born (on 4/29/1988) with a whole bunch of planets in touch with nebulous Neptune. And we could understand why you’d have trouble discerning fact from fiction. Mr. Welch seems like a perfectly well-intended — if misguided — soul in this NYT interview. With his natal Jupiter also involved with multiple planets in his horoscope, we can see how he could blow things out of proportion.

The horoscope of the United States will continue to be under the influence of Neptune through 2017. One potential of this pattern is having a hard time seeing things clearly; wandering in a fog; tilting at windmills.

The antidote for Neptune is something rock-solid — just like the Sabian Symbol for last week’s New Moon at 8 degrees of Sagittarius. Do you remember what that Sabian Symbol was? “Rocks and things forming therein.” What is the hottest item at Nordstrom’s right now? A rock wrapped in a leather pouch — priced at $85 — and sold out.  So is the bargain-priced rock — sold out — at $65 each. These rocks must be sprinkled with a lot of Neptunian pixie dust to be selling like hotcakes. And of course that New Moon rock symbol was squared by nebulous Neptune. Coincidence or conspiracy?

Given a choice between gifting you and your loved ones with a rock in a leather pouch — or gifting them with the invaluable clarity and validation astrology can provide, I hope you’ll opt for the latter.

Thank you for reading this forecast — and for the kind words about Pepper the Awesome Thanksgiving Kitty. She’s a blessing. I hope that you have many blessings, too.