Today is driven by the Moon in soulful, sensitive, suffering Pisces, seeking to identify ideals and work with impressions. Said impressions may be sobering or squelched by a challenge from no-nonsense Saturn at 6:19AM ET. Depth of perception and dirt-digging may be on deck around 10:20AM ET, courtesy of an alignment between Moon and Pluto. Watch your mouth — and your temper — the closer we get to 5PM ET. That’s when Mercury (mouth) squares off with Mars (temper, action). You’ll feel that more personally if you have a planet around 6-9 degrees of Aries, Cancer, Libra or Capricorn. Use the energetic surge for something constructive, mmKay?  Moon goes void at 3:13AM ET…enters me-me-me Aries FRIDAY at 11:08AM ET. That justifies whatever flake or twist you may experience in your early morning commute.

Meanwhile, expect flashes of disruptive insights to keep on coming through the weekend.

And now, the news.

Russia, emails and efforts to sabotage the U.S. elections.  Information, scandal, power plays, shock and awe — suggested by planetary patterns.

Elizabeth Warren got her wish. John Stumpf has stepped down as CEO at Wells Fargo. Born on September 15, 1953, his Virgo Sun and Sagittarius Moon will continue to be hit by streamlining transits from Saturn into 2017.

Samsung’s Galaxy 7 phone — which notoriously began catching fire during the last Mercury retrograde, is now officially toast. Off the market. Done.

UPDATE: Ted Cruz. When we checked in on him last week, we noted that one of the most anguished patterns a horoscope can experience in its lifetime would be exact on October 12th. On that day, NYT columnist Gail Collins cheerfully opined that:

On the plus side, the campaign’s recent unpleasantness has provided a wonderful opportunity to randomly torture irritating Republican officeholders. Ted Cruz — who insulted Trump by failing to endorse him at the convention, then panicked and gave him a nod just before the trash-talk tape went public — must be having the worst week of his political life.

Yes, and his horoscope supports that opinion.

UPDATE: Donald Trump. I am almost ready to exhale, with all of his “locker-room talk” now backed up by real-life reports of his grabbing and groping in action. Front page of the NYT and an especially scathing account penned by a former reporter for People….with plenty more to come. Why now? What took everyone so long? I’d argue that we had to get to the release of bottlenecked energy suggested by last week’s transits to his natal Neptune and Mercury, suggesting a potential scandal. And, as I noted many months ago, we see heavy activity involving transiting Chiron to his Sun, Moon and a third measurement which is an important bellweather in relationship. Translation: Chiron, known as “the wounded healer,” suggests an opportunity to heal — or perhaps give up a toxic behavior pattern. But in order to heal, the wound needs to be visible. I noted a heavy Chiron measurement in Bill Cosby’s horoscope when reports of his sexual assaults against women finally began to stick.  Same with Dominque Strauss-Kahn, just before his alleged assault of a chambermaid in a New York hotel derailed his political career. So fascinating.

Despite measurements suggesting tremendous power and resource potential in 2017, other measurements suggest a need for streamlining, perhaps depressingly so.  November 28th — the date he urged his supporters to vote for him at the polls — is the trial date set for a lawsuit alleging fraud at Trump University. He is expected to testify. On October 26th, the day before an exact hard aspect between Chiron and Trump’s loutish Sagittarius Moon, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit will air an episode “ripped from the headlines” about a “wealthy and boorish man who makes a run for the White House.”

Aspects of the story are inspired by the civil lawsuit pending against the Republican presidential nominee by a woman who alleges she was raped by Trump when she was 13 years old in the mid-1990s.

The anonymous “Jane Doe” filed the lawsuit in June. Trump has denied the allegation. A hearing has been set for December 16 in a New York court.

Who’s going to streamline Trump? In keeping with heavy planetary patterns suggesting a need for balance, equality between the sexes and (on the other hand) polarity, the answer is: women. Have you seen these maps of the U.S. showing how this election would go if only women voted vs. the results if only men did? And have you seen all the parodies that flooded Twitter after those maps were released? Spit take warning — and look at the real maps first, will ya? Geez, I am trying to keep you INFORMED as well as entertained. Shall I post a cat video here now?

But what about Hillary’s horoscope? Great question, for as you know, we do not have a confirmed birth time, which limits what we can reliably forecast, as reported in the Wall Street Journal. Yes, really.  The Journal. It put astrology right  on the front page as its A-hed story at the end of last week.

The A-hed, for those who do not read the Journal, is described on its website as:

the code name for a story light enough to “float off the page.” The A-hed is a headline that doesn’t scream. It giggles.

I first learned the term A-hed in February of 2015, when a freelance reporter for the Journal interviewed me about my burning passion for covering the astonishing synchronicity of headline news and planetary patterns in this forecast. While I strive to write with wit and humor, the astonishing synchronicity of planetary patterns and the headlines is serious business, perhaps disqualifying it as suitable A-hed subject.

The astrological headline that did qualify as a giggling A-hed is this:

Who’s Demanding to See Hillary Clinton’s Birth Certificate? Baffled Astrologers

Gawd forbid the Journal should call astrologers who would like to see Hillary’s birth certificate “perfectionist” or “exacting” because that would be taking them seriously. “Baffled” makes them sound funny, though hardly any of the 100-odd Journal readers who commented agreed. They were outraged that their cherished paper would give any space to astrology at all. It’s easier to be dismissive of subjects one doesn’t understand. It makes one feel smarter and superior. But I can’t fault the Journal for finding astrologers joke-worthy when astrologers interviewed in serious news publications inspire journalists to print stuff like this:

Mr. (Anonymous Astrologer) is an astrologer. He knows Donald Trump was born at 10:54 a.m. in Jamaica Hospital in Queens on June 14, 1946. From that, it’s possible to divine that the GOP candidate “has a very strong Mars vibe going on,” he says.

The red planet’s position in Mr. Trump’s natal chart—the precise layout of the heavens at the moment of birth—resonates with Americans fed up with Washington, says Mr. (Astrologer). Mars exudes the Roman war god’s temperament, and Mr. Trump is “basically channeling that energy.”

Unless we are given ample space to define the terms in which we speak, it is suicide for an astrologer to use astrological jargon to a mainstream audience. “Very strong Mars vibe?” “Roman war god’s temperament?” Sure, I understand it, because I have studied the symbolic language of astrology. But as my mentor will expostulate at every given opportunity, “Planets don’t do anything! PEOPLE do!” As astrologers, we must translate what we see in a horoscope into something that applies to people: 

Trump’s horoscope suggests a reigning need to righteously express his opinion and be respected for it. We see the potential for a mercurial temperament and a need for risk and excitement. We see a need for a regal presentation, with a YUGE macho chip on his shoulder. His need for drama and entitlement may result in a delight in “getting away with murder.”  Patterns in his horoscope in 2015 and 2016 suggest a serious reach of executive authority becoming prominent, public recognition, extraordinary appreciation and a public resonance with the anger he is likely to project.

Not a planet in that paragraph. No Journal reader could argue that it is inaccurate, and there is no need to explain what patterns in the horoscope suggest Trump’s potential. When your doctor tells you that you have coronary artery disease, do you demand a word-for-word translation of every 24-letter word in the angiogram report? No, and the doctor doesn’t speak to you in those 24-letter words. She’ll tell you your arteries are blocked in words you can understand.

This forecast is not a mainstream publication. I write with an intention to teach Avid Readers a little bit about the language of astrology, even while knowing that I am writing at a level that likely too sophisticated for most civilians — and thus off-putting. My problem to solve.

You can read the Journal article here by paying $12 for a trial Journal subscription. That’s what I did and frankly, it’s the right and just thing to do.

What the Journal article does not report is that another astrologer claims to have discovered Hillary Clinton’s correct birth time — still officially unconfirmed, however, as no actual birth certificate has been seen. This astrologer will be presenting his findings at an astrological  conference going on as I type in Costa Mesa, California. What does that mean? It means we still do not have a confirmed birth time for Hillary Clinton and thus our forecasting tools are limited. At that same conference, there will be a panel at which several astrologers will predict whom they believe will will the election on Nov. 8th. This conference has gotten press in the Los Angeles Times and The Guardian — with more to come, I am sure.  My heart is breaking over the unintelligible planetary jargon cluttering otherwise cogent observations.

My money is on Hillary Clinton — even without a birth time — as crazy as this process has been — and as tight as the final count may be. It’s not an outcome I take for granted. We still have the potential for further shocks, flakes and twists. Women, it’s really up to you.  And while Trump may be streamlined on one level, on another level his horoscope suggests he is ripe for a further expansion of power and resources into 2017.  If he does not win the White House, I am not convinced he will go quietly into that good night.

Finally, how super groovy cool that Bob Dylan was awarded the Nobel Prize in Literature today! Obviously there is something going on in the career/status area of his horoscope. And one of many suggestions of honor quickly seen is that Jupiter (expansion, reward) will be sitting at the top of his chart on December 7th, just three days before the official Nobel ceremony on December 10th. Isn’t astrology AMAZING???

Cue Dylan’s 1964 hit, “The Times, They Are a-Changin'” now, please. It was released in the build-up of the first Uranus-Pluto conjunction in Virgo in 1965. Was his horoscope hit by that conjunction? Yup. It squared his Sagittarius Ascendant. No wonder he was such a big name in the ’60s. And now Uranus and Pluto are making contact with his Libra Midheaven, suggesting a fresh start and prominence. But don’t quote me to any reporters who don’t speak astrology. They won’t understand and they will write about it in a way that sounds nuts.

What’s going on in your horoscope? Satisfy your burning curiosity; push through your fears and schedule a personal consultation for gawdssake. If you haven’t consulted with your astrologer in over a year, you’re overdue for a check-up. We’re like dentists, doncha’ know…treat us accordingly.

Thank you for reading this forecast. Please share it with the entire Free World.